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Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yeah, the candy company).
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One day, his boss pulled him in an office and said something that changed his life:
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“Stephen, you are about to promote yourself.”
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Normally, a cause of celebration was rather signified as a warning from his boss.
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In a past life, Stephen had been guitarist in a small independent rock group. He also spent his evenings writing songs.
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His boss knew that Stephen was a hell of a good composer and where he really belonged.
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He spoke to Stephen golden handcuffs:
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“You are online for a promotion and they prepare you for the next level.
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And you are sort of at a crossroads.
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Because if you take [the promotion]As I took it 30 years ago, your dreams of being a songwriter, they will have left. It will consume each piece of you.
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Right now, you can write songs and do this job, but in 6 months, I’m not sure you can do it. So I just want to give you a warning.
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This little voice in Stephen’s head, which has been there for years and years, began to become stronger.
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6 weeks later, with this interior voice now with a deafening volume, he put his 2 weeks notice, which confused everyone (except his boss and his wife).
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He started the bartender and waiting tables to reach both ends while perfecting his job, trying to obtain publishing offers in country music … while being rejected for not having written “Bro country” songs::
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We told him, “You write REAL Songs. We cannot do Nuthin ‘with that … “
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Years later, after a few modest successes by writing songs for other musicians, he finally worked on courage and experience and influence to start recording his own songs.
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And last year, he finally released his first album, Son of daddyThat Rolling Stone called one of the best albums of 2023.
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Recently, Stephen released a Breathtaking cover of “stand by me” by Ben E. King ,, “ that I have listened to about 10,000 times in last month.
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(Seriously, please watch this video. It will give you goosebumps!).
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Golden handcuffs vs uncomfortable expansion
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From 2008 to 2010, I also lived a double life.
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I had my day job in Sixthman, helping to promote and produce floating music festivals. But I also spent my nights and my weekends working on a small website to help the Nerds in shape.
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My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the company) all knew where my heart was; They encouraged me to chase the uncomfortable future to try to make the physical form of Nerd in my career.
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16 years later, we are still going to be strong!
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In Oliver Burkeman Four thousand weeksHe encourages us to ask a specific question when making decisions in life:
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“Where in your life or work are you currently continuing comfort, when what is called is a bit of discomfort?”
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Asking yourself “what would make me the happiest” will most likely lead us to the short -term, comfortable and safe option.
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Instead, we should think which path will make us grow as a person, or which version will make us shrink every week. We probably know, basically, know the answer to the question, if we have the courage to ask it.
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Burkeman advice:
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“Choose an uncomfortable enlargement on a comfortable decrease each time you can.”
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Yes, sometimes hunting “uncomfortable enlargement” does not result in a songwriting agreement or a prosperous business. I chose the uncomfortable path and sometimes things do not work. But that is part of the process, and at least it removes the potential for unhealthy regret!
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Which brings me to the mission of today.
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Let’s comfortable being uncomfortable
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Hunks The uncomfortable expansion in 2025.
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- When we train in force, We fork our muscles to become uncomfortable by lifting a heavier and heavier weight – they react by growing up and adapting.
- If we use food as an adaptation mechanism When we are sad or angry or annoyed, approaching our relationship with food can be uncomfortable.
- When we have uncomfortable conversations, We can finally deepen our relationships or defend things that are important to us.
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In 2025, let’s ask the question:
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Where in your life, you live well in comfort and safety when deeply You know that the path of “uncomfortable expansion” is what you really need to grow and help you get what you really want?
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You may not need to leave your job immediately, or go to a new goal or change …
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But it could be worth asking you this uncomfortable question.
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Life is difficult and change is more difficult.
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Uncomfortable.
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Scary.
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Messy.
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But if you are ready to say no to comfort, that may be exactly what you need.
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-Teve
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PS: We do a free 5 -day workshop For people who seek to build new habits that really remain in 2025, it starts in a few days!
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